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Managing Screen Time (My 2019 Plan)

1/15/2019

7 Comments

 
Managing Screen Time (My 2019 Plan)
Let me just start by saying I'm not against screen time. However, like all things in life, moderation is key. Why many kids today, including mine, want to spend every freakin' waking moment of the day playing video games, is not entirely a mystery, and I'll explain in a sec. However, this doesn't bother me anymore except when we need to transition from one activity to the next. The main question in my mind is, how can the real world compete on equal footing with the virtual world
So, what's so great about playing video games? Lots, actually. There are tons of strategy all the time, fantastic hand-eye coordination, (sometimes) socialization, goal setting, group effort, decision making, hyper focus, and problem solving. If you can read or listen to the book SuperBetter by game designer Jane McGonigal, she goes in depth about it. You can also check out her highly entertaining TedEX talks:

1) Here: www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world?language=en
2) And here: www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_the_game_that_can_give_you_10_extra_years_of_life?language=en#t-33247
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However, to a young and developing brain, the quick rewards to a new level, the constant need to upgrade to a novelty item, special perks that cost $20 here and there, all those things may have a negative impact. Not to mention being a mostly sedentary activity, emotional dysregulation, lack of proper nutrition, and so forth. 

My plan for this year is to be more consistent with my boundaries and adding a couple more activities back in the weekend. I don't have a magic wand but I'm implementing the following strategies:
  1. No more desktop playing unless it's the weekend. Power struggles seemed more intense when Roblox was played on weekdays (boundaries).
  2. My son already has something going on every night of the week except Friday-Sun, which also means less time near the desktop computer.
  3. That said, he is taking coding classes with Code Ninjas for 2 hours/week. I figured, so long as he likes gaming, he might as well learn how to create and not just consume games. I am not sure if we'll take a break next summer, but he has enjoyed it for the past three months.
  4. He will be taking a pottery wheel class on the weekend and I hope he sticks with it for a couple of reasons: 1) super sensory activity that should be calming and creative. 2) He used to enjoy a lot of nature-based sensory activities a few years back (including mud) and it was very grounding for him.
  5. We're considering guitar lessons on the weekend as well. Music is super beneficial for the brain and hand-eye coordination, and activates some of the same gaming reward systems.

I should also mention that I've noticed a lot more emotional dysregulation in regards to transitioning away from gaming when my son was off meds for a month (that was an experiment we did last fall). 

Like everything, finding the right balance and what works for each family is very unique and a moving target. These are just some things I'm trying this year but there will be new ideas to try later for sure!
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7 Comments
Full Spectrum Mama link
1/15/2019 07:59:49 am

It seems like screen time is the number one issue for most families with neurodiverse kids.

Obviously so much of it is the sheer enjoyment and soothing/numbing aspect of these activities, but I think there's something deeper as well: Screens ease the social isolation kids who are "different" often experience.

We started early on with very limited screens, but it's clear that my G -- and even my neurotypical daughter, Z -- would spend all their time on screens if they had the chance.

It's nice to see some positives, but overall I very much wish they would develop self-regulation (I do try to give them opportunities to set their own boundaries now that they are teens, but there's often one who's been completely grounded after that for inappropriate screen behavior [UGH], which involves zero screens).

One friend said to me the other day "I wish they had never been invented," but OTOH teens give me my only breaks on weekends when I am on my own with the kids 24/7.

COMPLICATED!!!!

Thanks and love,
Full Spectrum Mama

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Tania
1/15/2019 08:22:16 pm

You bring up lots of good points! Yes, the social aspect is definitely a huge selling point in gaming, since they struggle with friendships and socialization in general. It's a safe space for them.

The other thing I forgot to mention in the post is how our kids feel super competent when they play, but I think we can go further and extend that feeling to feeling competent in this hermetic social environment as well where there's little to no guess work and if anyone breaks the rules they can just report them. LOL.

I totally agree that screen time is a double-edge sword: the break vs. the giant time suck. The good news is that, we're not alone and just about all parents are dealing with this right now. Our species is running a massive child development experiment right now with screens. It will be very interesting to look back on this time 40 years from now.

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Kori Tomelden link
1/15/2019 10:55:24 am

Good luck with this, mama! I need a plan of my own to manage my own screen time.

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Tania
1/15/2019 08:23:24 pm

Thank you! You can do it!!

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Adelaide Dupont link
1/15/2019 06:26:35 pm

I was interested in making music and the reward systems which activate.

Roblox are intense!

Reply
Tania
1/15/2019 08:04:20 pm

There's a ton of scientific papers on how learning to play an instrument helps to integrate the brain in ways that no other activity does. It's good competition to gaming! I found an informative article for you: http://elitemusic.ca/playing-piano-stimulates-brain/ but there are tons of scientific literature online if you want to dig deeper. Yes, Roblox is intense, good luck!

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Escort Couple Deltona link
5/9/2025 09:59:48 am

I appreciate your thoughtful approach to balancing screen time with other activities.

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